I Keep Making This Same Mistake

September 22, 2020

I operate in what I call “power surges.” 

For weeks at a time, I wake up at 4am full of ideas. It’s a struggle to get myself to stop working at the end of the day. I begin to fear the momentum will take over and I’ll lose my quality of life.

Weeks later, I slow down. I go through a phase where I’m significantly less motivated, less productive. I work fewer hours and with less fervor. I inevitably fear I’ll never find inspiration again.

The cycle repeats.

Every time, I fight it.

I want so badly for it to be different, especially in the slow periods. I want to be someone who works consistently with a pace that’s sustainable. 

Instead of easing into the periods of necessary and joyful rest, I try to berate myself into action. My colleague Shannon Garrety calls it, “success by brute force,” pushing myself as hard as I can.

When I ask clients, “How do you want to feel about your professional life”, no one uses words like force and push. I coach clients about celebrating their strengths rather than fighting them. 

As I did my own activities in advance of last Saturday’s Joy Infusion Retreat, I had an ah-ha:

I want to trust my process.

Here’s what I think that’ll look like: When my energy is burning just a little too hot, I’ll build in breaks to connect with loved ones. (See pic below from a mid-week zoo trip with the kiddo.)

When I need to invest in rest, I’m going to lovingly challenge myself to do just that. To embrace the slower pace while remembering and trusting that a burst of motivation and creativity is around the corner.

When do you find yourself fighting your own process? How do you want to approach it differently?