Feeling Irrational?

July 7, 2021

Last week, I had a moment in which I felt “insecure, anxious, tender, f***ing annoyed, and agitated” all at once.

(👆🏼Literal quote from my journal)

Unfortunately for me, my brain didn’t think those emotions were reasonable given my situation. I found myself fighting them, trying to intellectually explain them away.

“This isn’t rational,” I kept telling myself.

In addition to the ample list of feelings above, I also felt dumb and immature for having such an intense reaction to something I desperately wanted to be chill about. The last thing I needed was MORE FEELINGS, but here they were.

I’ve long lamented that there isn’t a Feelings On/Off Switch ®.

That way, when these inconvenient, heavy-hitting emotions kick in I can say, “No thank you. [Click].” It’s very Book of Mormon.

My two-year-old has been helping with prototypes.

Fe recently had a near meltdown because I had a blanket around my shoulders.

“Nooooooo!” he cried, pulling at the blanket, “OFF, Mama!”

Um, what?

While it was very difficult not to laugh, I tried to remember my favorite parenting advice. My job as a parent is to help my kiddo name and accept his emotions.

“It’s frustrating when Mama has a blanket around her shoulders,” I said, attempting to acknowledge his feelings with a straight face.

(And yes, I now intermittently speak in the 3rd person, like Elmo. 🤦🏻‍♀️)

It doesn’t matter that the feelings don’t make sense, that they aren’t rational.

The feelings are there, and they are fully real to my kid. That acknowledgment helped us get back to dinner.

As I journaled about my own big feelings later in the week, I remembered the blanket situation.

If I can calmly support a toddler through his outrage at a fleece rectangle, surely I could find some compassion for myself and give myself permission to move through the feels.

I felt that “click” of relief when I realized that even though I knew my worst-case scenario was unlikely, I could still accept my feelings as valid.

It’s not exactly an on/off switch, but we can diffuse feelings far faster when we allow the emotions to flow, regardless of how trivial their origin might feel.