Your “Pandemic Best”

August 24, 2021

As Dr. Kimberly D. Manning shared on Twitter, “I think we are all just trying to do our pandemic best."

It was a quote from her child’s teacher who explained, "It took some time for me to realize that pandemic best may be all we have right now. And to hold anyone to something other than that just isn't fair."

My pandemic best means accepting that I’m easily distracted or derailed.

It means I’ve lost two pairs of glasses in the last month, despite never having lost a pair since I was bespectacled middle schooler.

It means streaming tears at the end of the latest episode of Ted Lasso and promptly watching it again because time spent with the characters feels like a hug.

It also involves a lot of quitting, which I’ve actually become delighted by.

It started with a mini-puzzle. When I realized that the 18 remaining pieces were essentially identical, I promptly put the puzzle back in its box, guilt-free.

Next, I quit a book my partner wanted to read together. For weeks, I’d brought it from room to room in my house in earnest, as though proximity would turn into interest or motivation. It did not. He was fine with it.

Lastly, I’d been hanging onto an orchid my parents got me to celebrate my book launch in 2019. It’d bloomed a couple times, but now it just looked like a sad stick surrounded by creepy tendrils.

Every time I looked at it, I thought, “Am I doing this right? Do you have what you need to be successful?”

Then it clicked: I’m constantly asking these very questions about my business and my toddler, I don’t want to feel obligated to ask them about a f--ing plant.

I don’t need to resent my stick-friend. My pandemic best meant finding the orchid a new home and celebrating the lack of responsibility.

In each instance, I experienced instantaneous relief and delight when I realized I could give myself a damn break. I don’t need to be the best puzzle-maker, book club partner, or plant parent.

If I have zero focus, and continue to lose my glasses and cry at Ted Lasso, that’s ok.

We’re all doing our pandemic best.