Do You Need a Failure CV?

May 6, 2021

A few years back, I received a rejection letter about an hour before a big speech.

I’d been optimistic about joining this coveted fellowship program, so I was both crestfallen and rather grumpy about the timing.

Candidly, I was also embarrassed.

One of my closest friends had nominated me, and many respected colleagues and friends had been admitted to the program.

That embarrassment disappeared when my friend texted that she hadn’t been accepted the first time she applied either.

Once I got my bearings, I decided to normalize the failure and even integrated it into my speech.

As I continued to talk openly about my rejection in the days that followed, multiple alums of the program shared similar stories.

Even for many of the people who had been successful, failure was still a part of their story.

A few years ago, Princeton professor Johanne Haushofer published his Failure CV, which lists many of the jobs, fellowships, and funds he applied for but didn’t receive.

He noted that failure is often invisible, while successes are readily promoted and seen.

He believes this disparity leads people to incorrectly assume that things usually work out for him.

When we experience our own failures, our tendency is to attribute it to something inherently wrong with us, rather than seeing failure as a frequent occurrence for almost everyone.

If you instead see rejection or failure as a normal part of the process – and one that’s ok to talk about – it becomes less stressful.

Besides, just in the act of putting yourself out there, you become more resilient.

The risk of failure can still be daunting, and the actual experience of rejection still stings, but you can use these experiences as tools to strengthen your resilience muscles.

The rejection from the leadership development program was easier to bear in that context, it was just part of my resilience workout.

Next time you face rejection or failure – and there will always be a next time – remember that failure is a part of the process for everyone, and maybe it’ll sting a little less.